The terminator: Apocalyptic Guitar Battle
by Mega Potato Sauce
Summary: John Connor is the best guitar hero player alive, but skynet has other plans. They send a terminator back in time to defeat Connor. But in the end things become all to real...and strange
1. CHAPTER 1, THE FIRST ONE

**AN: FIRST FANFIC HYPE! Let me know what you guys/girls/john Cena think.**

"Holy hell I was just joking Thomas!" said Harold. "YOU SHOULD NEVER JOKE ABOUT YOUR DAD DIEING OF CANCER!" screamed Thomas, "I don't see why not I mean a joke is just a joke after all so just chill" Harold was very calm for having just been screamed at, "well some "jokes" just go too far" said Thomas clearly annoyed. The two young adults started arguing about how far comedy was allowed to go before it wasn't comedy anymore.

They were standing in front of a gas station eating snacks they've just purchased. It was dark out and surprisingly quiet save some faint sounds off in the distance, it sounded kind of like music. The pair was still arguing, "I don't like John Cena he is way to over hyped" said Harold "Randy Orton is so much better", "screw off man John Cena is the best you're just jealous" replied Thomas. Apparently they started arguing about wrestling instead. During their argument they noticed that the wind picked up quite suddenly. The pair took notice, "suddenly wind" said Harold, they both only cared for about 10 seconds before talking about theoretical physics. Then they heard something strange from behind the store, "what the hell was that" Thomas asked. "We should totes check it out" suggested Harold "k". The two men walked behind the store to see a small crater in the ground and part of a dumpster was gone, almost like it was cut off by a lightsaber then run off with. Harold and Thomas had no idea what just happened here. They investigated the scene for 4 minutes and 48 seconds when Harold was like "fuck this" and told Thomas he was going to head out. "You sure Harold I don't…" He stopped talking; Harold noticed a rather confused look on his face. "What" asked Harold, "what" said a rather mainly voice from behind him. Harold was quite startled and turned around. Standing before him was a very large and naked man. It was….. THE TERMINATOR!

The two stood there staring at him, and the terminator just stared back slowly turning his head left and right. "Who the fuck is this guy" thought Harold. "Holy hell he is hot" thought Thomas. "….." thought the terminator. After about 3 hours 17 minutes and 39 and a half seconds of staring the terminator finally said in a hunky voice "You're clothes, give them to me NOW". "No?" replied Harold. "I'll definitely give you something" said Thomas licking his lips with unimaginable lust in his eyes. "Holy fuck keep it in your pants Thomas" said Harold. "And you Mr. big fuck, you can blow me" said Harold "or me" added thomas. The terminator back handed Harold with the force of 100 angry wives and Harold went airborne into the back side of gas station. Thomas was speechless; "I am unable to comply" said the terminator. Thomas was torn between helping his friend out, or wrapping his mouth around the massive spear between the terminator's legs. The terminator then undressed Harold and started to dress himself. "Uhhh you…umm..want..to..uhh..undress. me to?" asked Thomas terrified and excited at the same time. "No" the answer was simple and crushing. The terminator then walked off leaving Harold naked and unconscious and Thomas hot and bothered and scared.


	2. CHAPTER 2, THE SECOND ONE

**AN: totes sorry that ch1 was so short and for the w8 4 ch2, I'm still new to this whole "making fanfiction shit" I really do hope you enjoy ^-^**

John Connor was staring at himself in the mirror; he had just taken a poopy and felt quite satisfied. John was 23, 5 feet 10 inches tall, and had short brown hair. He could grow facial hair if he so wished but he preferred to shave his face twice a week, he liked it better that way. John then finished up in the bathroom and left. John started walking down the hall to join the rest of his guests. He was throwing a party for his 23rd birthday! John had a massive amount of people over, but john lived in a mansion so there was plenty of space. John was quite rich due to his mother winning the lottery. When she died she left john everything. As John approached the room he referred to as the "big ass party room" he heard the music that was playing grow louder and louder. The current song that was being played was I am Machine by Three Days Grace. "Good song" thought John "I prefer their old singer honestly". John entered the room to see some of the guests playing Halo. There were people spectating halo matches. "There is the birthday boy!" said Guy. "Hello Guy" John liked Guy. Guy was cool. Guy once gave john 8 dollars. Everyone seemed to be having fun but john couldn't shake the feeling that a lot of people were about to die.

The terminator was cruising down the freeway in a Green PT Cruiser. He'd stolen the Vehicle, he required the transportation to get to John Connor's house. The radio was on; the terminator didn't seem to care, it was a metal station. There was some late night special on the station. "You are listening to 96.6 the station!" "HELLO! Fallopian drill worm here! We are still having our late night local special" "Best of our local metal bands" "This one is fresh out of the garage! This is "As I Sink in Martian Cum" by "Vagina Meteor". There was a brief moment of silence then the audio of a toilet flushing could be heard from the radio, which was immediately followed by which could only be explained as an explosion of pure ecstasy. The song assaulted the terminator's audio receptors which caused literally nothing to happen and he kept driving.

John Connor was enjoying his birthday party; he had decided it was guitar hero time. Being the best player in the world everyone obviously wanted to see him play. There were a select few who thought they could beat him in a guitar battle. First up was Jordan, Jordan was pretty good but he was nothing compared to John. John ruined him. Next up was Jennifer, john beat her so hard she had to go to therapy. John Connor was obliterating everyone. "Come on then! Can anyone stop me?!" John was on a rampage. Then there was a voice from the back. "No mercy for anyone, huh john?" "It's like my mom said" started John. "There's no fate but what we make", "if anyone here REALLY wanted to beat me they would just have to practice….a lot". The voice responded "I have been practicing a lot". "Then come face me" John was curious as to who it was. "Ok I will" a man stepped out from the darkness everyone was in total shock. The man was average height, very muscular he was shirtless. He was wearing cargo shorts and sneakers with 1 wristband on each wrist. AND HIS NAME WAS JOHN CENA! READY TO THROW DOWN AGAINST GUITAR HERO LEGEND JOHN CONNOR IN A GUITAR BAAAATTTTTTLLLLEEEE! His theme music was loud and it startled a lot of people especially guy. And no one seemed to figure out where the fireworks shooting off in the room came from. John Connor merely stood there and stared at him, unimpressed by his entrance. "I got this" he thought with a smirk watching as John Cena threw up peace signs and high-fived other people at the party. John Cena finally got to John Connor. "You ready for a best battle you've had in year's john?" John asked. "You know I'm always ready for a guitar battle John" said John. "Maybe I will become the world champion" said John. "I doubt it but feel free to try" responded John. Everyone gathered around what was to be the best guitar battle ever. They started the battle. Right out of the gate they appeared to be equal, both nailing every note flying at them like angry hyrulian chickens, but when then more technical parts arrived Cena was messing up a little bit. While John Connor was eating every single note that flew at him. "Delicious" he thought. It was intense; though it was clear John Connor was winning Cena wasn't just rolling over and dying like Jennifer did. The lights in the house started to flicker a bit. "Holy fuck, I…I don't know if it's safe for me to be seeing such a display of power" said guy, worried. "Why be surprised guy" thought John Connor. "You know how strong I am, you should be used to this display of power" John Cena sensing he was losing activated his special, he gave his guitar the five knuckle shuffle and released a shockwave of energy that surprised John Connor. "Impressive" he said while shredding like a boss. But John Connor wasn't scared. He started to perform sweeps so intense he knew everything that was going on everywhere. Cena was stunned "uung even with my special he is still winning, how strong could he be". John Connor decided it was time to finish him, he performed one more crazy ass riff which seemed to suck the energy out of every electronic in the house, except the game itself of course. With this energy he launched a bolt of lightning upward straight through the roof into the sky. This bolt flew into space and blew up a satellite, causing it to fall back to earth in many pieces. Most of which burned up upon re-entry, except for one piece which landed somewhere in Nebraska. John Cena was defeated; John offered to help John off the ground. "Damn you're good John" said John. "Thank You, I practice a lot" John responded. "I can tell, you deserved that victory, I'm just not that good". "Don't be upset John" said John, "you're pretty good to". "Thanks John" said John.

The terminator was still driving in his stolen car. "Hello Hello HELLO! You are listening to 96.6 THE STATION; we are now going to continue our late night local special" "this gem comes from the band Beyond Retardation, this song is called Piss Sprinklers" Right as the song started a Bright bolt of lightning shot up into the sky, then something on fire came falling back down. The terminator knew it was time; he speeded down the road even faster than before. With the sound of insane blast beats and horse noises screaming out of the radio he sped towards his target, John Connor.


	3. CHAPTER 3, THE THIRD ONE

**AN: YAY ITS HERE. The wait was a bit long. TOTES SORRS DUDES. It's because procrastibate too much.**

 _(_ _Meanwhile in SPAAACE~)_

Dwayne the Rock Johnson was standing with pride atop his satellite, this particular satellite's purpose was solely to be stood upon by Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Dwayne stared at the earth with determination in his eyes. He was shirtless with blue jeans that made his butt look tighter than a puppy's mouth, NASA informed him that he must wear a shirt when he was in space because the sunlight reflecting off his titanic muscles would sometimes, on occasion, blind astronauts who go out into space to perform spacewalks. He didn't care though. Dwayne was waiting patiently, for something very important to him. He waited for the day he could face his nemesis JOHN CENA in battle once again. "One day" he said to himself. Whilst waiting he noticed a light on the earth's surface. It looked familiar to him, "Connor" he said. "There's only one reason why Connor would need to use that much power". "It has to be Cena" he thought. Suddenly the light struck his satellite. Part of the satellite exploded, and then it started hurtling towards the surface. "Damn you Connor" Said Dwayne as he plummeted. "Looks like I'm headed to Nebraska" he said, and while maintaining unnaturally perfect balance he rode the satellite towards earth, determined to find and defeat John Cena FOREVER. But that is a story for another day.

 _(Meanwhile at the PLOT)_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" Everyone screamed. The party guests just finished singing happy birthday to John Connor. "Make a wish Connor!" said Guy. "Of course Guy" said Connor with a smile on his face. He made his wish. _I wish Guy will survive whatever it is that's about to happen._ John Connor then blew out the 23 candles that were for some reason randomly positioned on and around his cake. His cake was really big; it had vanilla frosting with chocolate underneath. "Man this looks good" Said Jordan. "That is does" responded Guy. "Alright everyone, dig in" said John Connor. Everyone was super hyped about eating the cake, including Jennifer.

The Terminator drove up to the gate to Connor's high class community. There was a small building near the gate where the security team stayed to make sure no one tried to break through the gate. The Terminator rolled his window down and waited for a guard to approach him. About an Hour later one finally did. "Excuse me sir, may I ask why you are here" asked the guard. The Terminator responded with "I'm a friend of John Connor; I hear he is having a party". "Yes he is, alright give me your name and I'll see if it is on Connor's list". "My name is Harold" Said the terminator. The guard looked at the list "Harold… Harold…. Haaarrrold, sorry sir there is no Harold on this list". After 30 minutes of just the radio playing the Terminator turned off the radio and said "I'll Be Back", then drove away. "Umm, Ok" said the guard. 43 minutes later while the guards were playing twister they heard a loud rumble. "What is that?" asked a guard named Julian. "I don't know what that is, what I DO know is that you got to put your left foot on green" stated another guard. "Ok" said Julian. Then suddenly without warning the Terminator crashed through the gate with a 18 Wheeler he stole from Walmart. "WHAT THE FUCK" screamed one of the guards. "All you had to do Julian was right arm red and you failed". "I'm sorry" Said Julian. The Terminator would have wondered why the guards didn't try to stop him, but he was a killer robot from the future, so he didn't.

John Cena stood up abruptly, only startling Jennifer. "No" Said Cena. "John" said john, "yea john" replied John mildly curious. "It's, him". "I must go!" yelled John. "I understand john, be safe" replied john. Cena nodded his head, then suddenly his theme music started playing very loudly, he ran into the living room and grabbed a table, he sprinted towards one of the guest rooms and body slammed the table through the wall out into Connor's backyard, he then did a flip out of the hole in the wall, he grabbed the table and ran off with it using it to punch through the perimeter fence. Cena was now out on the street, he saw an 18 wheeler parked in Connor's front lawn, but he didn't care, he knew what to do. "Now I have to fix the fucking wall and the fence" said Connor with frustration in his voice. He heard a lot of commotion near his front door. Suddenly Jennifer flew into the living room and smacked against a wall like a cat would've if thrown from a ceiling fan. "Going to have to fix that wall to" Said Connor sighing. But then that's when he saw him, a very large man with sunglasses emerged from the room Jennifer just flew in from. He was caring a massive teddy bear for some reason. "John Connor" Said the man. It felt like everything was going in slow motion. _It's finally here just as mom said it would be, the Terminator_ thought Connor. Before anyone could say anything the Terminator produced a guitar from the teddy's posterior. He dropped the teddy to the ground and just stared at John Connor. "It is time" said the Terminator walking up to the Xbox. He plugged in his guitar and said "I will defeat you, which will be the cause for judgment day". _Judgment day, the day when the machines take over,_ thought John. "Over my dead body" He said. Without so much as turning his head the Terminator replied "affirmative". Obviously the greatest guitar battle in the history of ever was about to happen, Connor knew he was ready because he had faith in his abilities as a guitar hero master to stop judgment day. The Terminator knew it was ready because it was programmed to think so. Everyone was bracing themselves, except for Jennifer. She was unconscious.


End file.
